I found this visualization online showing the causes of death. Isn’t it interesting that suicide appears almost three-times the occurrence of HIV. It goes to show that the things that have the greatest mind-share or the greatest amount of media coverage are not necessarily the biggest causes of death. Another thing that surprised me was the unusually high number of deaths caused by unintentional injury (5%!)
One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His response was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don’t know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn’t matter."*
I like Alice. Having direction makes the thousands of choices that shape life easier to manage. After that it is a matter of self-control (an Achilles heel for me too 
) and focusing on what is most important. Tall orders, both of them. Since many aspirations have some element of chance it is hard to put a time-limit on fulfilling them. You leave yourself open to the possibility of getting what you want rather than counting on a specific outcome. For years, I had a quote taped onto the side of my cubicle from actor Harrison Ford, which I now know by heart:
"Hard work and a proper frame of mind prepare you for the big break that finally comes along… or doesn’t".
*Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
As a Canadian, I didn’t know who US Democratic candidate John Edwards was until he hired Amanda Marcotte, blogmaster of Pandagon to work for him. I was interested and surprised, since Amanda is an outspoken feminist and her writing is pretty edgy at times. As the story unfolded, I learned more about Edwards and his campaign, and was interested to see that he stood by her even when many people were calling for her resignation because of things that she had written in her personal blog.
Unfortunately, Amanda quit the Edwards campaign within weeks, after being attacked by a "volunteer army" of right-wing bloggers who continued to denigrate her and after being denounced by the Catholic League. In a story on Salon.com, she says:
"The right-wing noise machine’s favorite trick, possibly its only trick, is to select a target and start making a fuss, hoping that by creating the appearance of smoke, just enough people will be fooled into thinking there’s a fire."
Amanda’s writing is satirical, and shocking at times, which is what makes it so interesting. I can imagine how it can spur a passionate response. But her detractors are pathetic – instead of coming back at her with an equally clever and satirical response, she was personally attacked in a very sexist way. She says:
"One question that’s hard to avoid is how much of the venom had to do with the fact that McEwan and I were young women entering into a field (Internet communications) that’s viewed as almost monolithically masculine. From my vantage point, it appeared that sexism was one of the primary motivating energies behind the campaign. Even before Donohue stepped in, various right-wing bloggers were obsessed with my gender and sexuality. As I noted at the time of my resignation, the majority of the hate mail I was receiving was from men, and almost all the e-mails made note of my gender or suggested that I would be a more pleasant woman if I wasn’t so "angry." Bluntly put, I find it hard to believe that many men would end up being denounced on TV for using words like "fuck" or "cunt" on their blog and expect to receive piles of e-mail offering an opportunity to suck the sender’s dick."
I have been in a number of arguments lately about whether or not sexism exists – how can you say it doesn’t exist when things like this still happen?
To me, this one is about what happens when you stop living on the edge and you start living too safely. A year or so ago when I read these lines, I was launched into a crisis, feeling the same about my last 10 years. But since I have resolved it by leaving a job, a terrible roommate and an ambivalent guy, starting my own business, making new friends and getting back into writing. Now my life is better since I went through that crisis.
My favourite kind of writer is someone who lives as true a life as possible (not pretending for themselves or others) and expresses the experience genuinely in a way that inspires, promotes compassion and self-forgiveness and creates connections. Bukowski, at the best of times, does this.
A friend at work showed me these cutest-hamburgers in the world – you can find them here – yes, they are real 
. And you can work them off on the treadmill in about 2 minutes.
It’s still really cold out in Toronto – I found this moody picture that depicts how it is when you are so bundled up and walking into the snowy darkness as an anonymous figure. The thick coat covers the form of this woman’s body with the dark and snow to further obstruct recognizability. I’ve been thinking a lot about dipping into the pool of anonymity and how people can pretty much restart their lives in a new form – erasing their past and becoming a new person in the eyes of others. Or – how people, many people I know, can live double or triple lives – showing different faces to everyone.
But… just like this morose scene does not last forever, neither does the cloak of anonymity. The season will change to summer. The winter duds will come off and the days will be longer. Who will she be? vibrant? thougthful? happy? shy? is she a dancer? is she an office worker? Who knows… but eventually the truth comes out – or she’d look rather conspicuous, wearing a thick winter coat and carrying an umbrella in the middle of summer. I believe it is the same with people who try to live double lives – they show their true selves… or their winter coats trying to hide who they really are stand out and look obvious.
My friend calls Valentines Day "Singles Awareness Day" – since those of us that are single feel like there are neon flashing arrows pointing at us, while everyone else is getting flowers delivered to them and eating romantic dinners. It is funny how the days that celebrate a specific thing (eg. romantic love between a couple) work to highlight those people that don’t have those things.
Take "Families without Fathers Awareness Day" for example. Growing up without a Dad (he died when I was 6) meant a bit of awkwardness when it came to those little crafts (such as puzzles and pencil holders) we made in Elementary Art class for Father’s Day. The teacher would quietly pull me aside and ask me what I wanted to do. Instead, I made my craft for my teenage brother, with cool results that I loved; while other kids decorated their crafts with lawnmowers and ties, I decorated mine with electric guitars and sports cars.
Another day that we celebrate is "Families Living in Separate Provinces to their Mums Awareness Day". Our family is spread thinly across the country, with two of us on each coast, me in the middle in Toronto and another up North. So -on Mother’s day, my Mum was feeling a bit upset because she saw other Mums she knew getting celebrated and going out to special brunches. From the relieved burst of laughter that I heard when I explained the "Families Living in Separate Provinces…" she seemed happy that there was a different way to think about it.
So… today is "Singles Awareness Day" and I know it is nothing that is too serious. After all, the day is just an excuse for shops to change their displays and for Hallmark to sell more cards. Tonight I am going to a nice restaurant with a good friend and have bought her a great card. So – I guess I am supporting the Valentines Industry machine, but it is still giving me an excuse to spend more time with my friend so we can show how much we care about each other. So – on days like this I guess I can remember both what I don’t have, and what I have.
Here is a hilarious video about a cat and a Mac. I feel this way too when I am at my brother’s place trying to make the iTunes work – how confusing and frustrating!
Lately I’ve found myself explaining Web 2.0 to a number of people outside and inside (believe it or not and dissapointingly) the industry. Look here to find the article on it by Tim O’Reilly, the guy who coined the term. You can also see below for a fun little video on the subject. To give you a quick clue, if you like my blog and my YouTube reference, you like Web 2.0 .
Found this great list of advice from the Gaping Void Site. You can see 31 points of advice, some of the best quotes include:
Analytics App Art Baby Beauty Books Business Canada Charity Economics Education Entrepreneurship Funny Health Ideas Individualism Inspirational Life Hack Life in General Lists Marketing Movies Office Life Personal Development Poetry Politics Psychology Quarterly Goal Setting Reviews Right vs. Normal Social Theory Sophie Spirituality Technology Tips & Hints Toronto USA Web Web Marketing Wish Women World
