One Red Hot Country Mama!

Well, it is that time of year again, the dreaded Valentines Day. Last year, I talked about how I liked to call Valentine’s  Singles Awareness Day. I started dating my ex-boyfriend shortly after Valentine’s last year, but unfortunately we broke up on Monday. If we believed in Valentine’s more, maybe we could have stuck in the relationship just a few days longer, but no – it didn’t work.

So – I have been feeling terrible – as though I was hit by a truck… but somehow still meeting people, getting client work done and dragging myself out to the gym. This morning, I woke up thinking "why god, why?" I don’t really believe in her, but sometimes I ask her questions in times of need.

But – I am insisting to myself not to mope around doing a Bridgette Jones imitation. After a sleepless night, the morning after we broke up, I booked a trip to Paris. I have never been to Europe, so I thought I might as well take the chance now . I booked an apartment there for a week with Feel Paris   and am meeting up with a friend who lives in the city from my undergrad.

So – this Singles Awareness Day is about chocolate cookies, a pot of tulips I bought for myself… and lemonade.

I was reading this story originally published in Esquire magazine, about outsourcing your life, where one of the editors outsources his life to India. He outsources his editorial research, his online shopping and even his phone calls to parents reading stories to his son and settling arguments with his wife. In the story, the author A.J. Jacobs outsources his apology to his wife, Julie to his Indian personal assistant, Asha:

Hello Asha,

My wife got annoyed at me because I forgot to get cash at the automatic
bank machine. . . . I wonder if you could tell her that I love her, but
gently remind her that she too forgets things — she has lost her wallet
twice in the last month. And she forgot to buy nail clippers for
Jasper.
AJ

I can’t tell you what a thrill I got from sending that note.
It’s pretty hard to get much more passive-aggressive than bickering
with your wife via an email from a subcontinent halfway around the
world.

The next morning, Asha CC’d me on the email she sent to Julie.

Julie

Do understand your anger that I forgot to pick up the cash at the
automatic machine. I have been forgetful and I am sorry about that.

But I guess that doesn’t change the fact that I love you so much. . . .

Love
AJ

P. S. This is Asha mailing on behalf of Mr. Jacobs.

As if that weren’t enough, she also sent Julie an e-card. I
click on it: two teddy bears embracing, with the words "Anytime you
need a hug, I’ve got one for you. . . . I’m sorry."

Damn! My outsourcers are too friggin’ nice! They kept the apology part
but took out my little jabs. They are trying to save me from myself.
They are superegoing my id. I feel castrated.

Julie, on the other hand, seems quite pleased: "That’s nice, sweetie. I forgive you."

Disappointingly, the article is sexist at times but A.J. has an interesting point at the end about Honey, his other personal assistant and the economy in general:

The point is, she’s got talent. If Honey is a guide, the Indian
workforce can be just as innovative and aggressive as the American, so
the "benefits" might not be so beneficial. Us high-end types will be as
vulnerable as assembly-line workers. (Friedman’s other pro-outsourcing
argument seems more persuasive — that free trade will open up the huge
Chinese and Indian markets to American exports.)

He concludes:

Yes, America, we’re cooked.

I think an article like this gets to the heart of the outsourcing dilemma. However, I think it is exaggerated. The premise of the article was based on Thomas Friedman’s book, The World is Flat, which is a about how we are getting a more level playing field in global economy due to the technological, economic and sociological shifts.

The book and the premise that it is based on has been criticized by Economists and Political Scientists alike. The fact is, 90% of the world’s phone calls, web traffic and investments are local – so it seems the world is still quite round. Professor Michael Veseth argues in his article The World is Flat? Globaloney: 

Government, I think, it the ultimate reason the world remains
persistently round. Brazil is a country blessed by natural and human
wealth. In a truly flat world, Brazil would be filthy rich. But Brazil
has been cursed by decades of bad government, and that has created an
environment where it’s nearly impossible to start a business, much less
develop one that can compete in the global marketplace.

The world is in fact filled with cultural, natural, political and
economic barriers that keep individuals and nations from competing on a
level playing field.

So – even though a guy can outsource his life for a week, the world is still as round… at the moment.   

Today is a different blog since I am doing it on my brand new 13" white MacBook and I am sitting at my kitchen table because I set up my wireless network today. I bought these things as a graduation present – ascending from my corporate life to my entrepreneurial life (my last office day is tomorrow).

So, here is a quick run-down of my shopping experiences.

Mac Store: Yesterday I walked into the Mac Store downtown Toronto (in Eaton’s Center) and talked to the first salesperson available. I told her exactly what I wanted (I did my research and I never go into these situations clueless), pointing at one of the many MacBooks available on display. She tried to upsell me a bit but after I said a firm no she cued up my order and I was ready to go. I grabbed a copy of Microsoft Office for Mac and a cute carrying case – 30 minutes from entering the store, I was on my way back to my car.

BestBuy: I went to BestBuy in one of those big box malls (on the Queensway) to pick up my wireless router tonight. I looked around for a while, and finally saw a big pile of the routers in the middle of the hall. I looked at the back of the box which depicted a bunch of different equipment. I walked around for a while trying to get the attention of one of the BestBuy guys until finally someone had time. I told him what equipment I had, and asked him if I needed anything else on the box image.

"Are you setting up the network yourself?" He asked and I said yeah. He scratched his head and started to speak slowly.

"Well, I don’t want to scare you or anything, but it isn’t easy. It’s not exactly hard, but it’s not easy either… you know? But, just so you know, there is a 14-day return policy and you can always call the Geek Squad if you can’t install it yourself".

I told him I was pretty good at instructions but he didn’t seem convinced. Yuck! So I was both insulted and my time
was wasted.  He likely had some preconceptions about me because of my gender and my looks. Well, what does he know. I installed it in 30 minutes, naming the network after my cat while talking on the phone to my friend about feminism. So there.

I’m not joining the Mac Cult any time soon, but if treating people with respect is part of the formula, I will make fun of them a little less from now on .

I’m condo shopping lately so a lot of the newer developments are catching my eye. Today, I was driving through a very industrial area on the way home from work and the word "regal" jumped out at me. Now, what the heck is an adjective like "regal" doing written on big colorful flags amongst the mac truck drop-off point, auto-part dealers and sex shops? I then saw it was a townhouse-condo development… on a busy thoroughfare, with mud for front lawns and walkways too close to the road. Hmmm… there is a marketer out there who is clearly abusing the word "regal".

Another example of optimistic claims is the Park Lake Residences condo development (located at the Lakeshore and South Kingsway for Toronto readers). Yes, the condos are near to High Park and Lake Ontario. But the more obvious thing about them is that they are located between a highway (the Gardiner) and two major thoroughfares (the Lakeshore and the Queensway). So, I joke that the name should be changed from "Park Lake" to "Highway Street". But, I guess my new name wouldn’t sell condos.

But, the "Park Lake" name, reminds me of what people hate about us marketers… that our claims are too optimistic – we are overselling and underdelivering. But, doesn’t that quality in marketers also bring a kind of poetry to life? I was remembering today about how when we were kids we used to fold up our sheets into a triangle at the front and leave them as a rectangle at the back, and pretend that our beds were boats. It was so fun to pretend that we were in boats, and it felt so real – even though the simulation was rudimentary, even for us kids. Believing we were in boats made it much more fun and provided some kind of escape.

So, maybe the "Park Lake" name helps the residents forget the noise of the highways and streets and gets them to focus on the positive. Maybe living in an industrial area labeled "regal" gives some dignity to it. People are attracted to strong imagery and a nice dream-image, so much so they are willing to lay down their life savings for it… even if it is not quite honest.

I remember when I got out of school and started my first corporate job, some strange things were happening. Even though I was a Marketing Analyst, the receptionists told me that I would have to take the phones on their breaks. Also, people would give me their coats and ask me to take messages for my boss. Eventually I figured it out… because people were used to young women being assistants and receptionists in that office, they did not "get" that I was there to analyze the business and market products. So – my young looks and my gender trumped my education, good grades, skills or even job description to them.

My sister-in-law, who is a physician, had the same problem when she started interning – the nurses assumed she was a nurse too, and there was a very awkward moment when she was asked to change bedpans! My brother, who is also a physician, never had an issue. Of course, my sister-in-law and I set them straight, but if you think that the old-fashioned attitudes are gone – think again!

The opposite is also true. I worked with a man who owned a PR company, which he started in his early-20s. He said the secret to starting his business young was that he started balding when he was 22, so people thought he was older and more trustworthy at an early age. I guess I never had the ‘luxury’ of balding .

This weekend something else strange happened. During Easter, people kept asking me about my son – how old he was, what grade etc. My son? I don’t have a son! Then I figured it out – my 5-year-old nephew and I are very close, we kept playing together and he kept coming to me and there is a pretty strong family resemblance – so from that they assumed he was mine. Again, I set them straight – but it surprised me that people thought I was a Mom when I think of myself as a single-urban-career-chick ready for the next adventure.

So – maybe this isn’t all that revelatory, but I tend to think of the world on a pretty equal basis. Meaning, you are your ideas, your words, your warmth, your experiences… not your looks, your race, your age, your gender or your act. I remember my Psychology 101 professor saying he perceived people as "floating brains", culling away all outside appearances and seeing people for what they are. But, I see most people don’t think that way. Actually, some people laugh their heads off when I explain the "floating brains" thing. It’s too bad because I think it is a pretty good ideal to strive for.