Standing Up for What You Think is Sexy
I have been dating again lately, and for the first time ever said upfront that I am a feminist. When I say it, I use the definition of a feminist found on Alas, a blog:
A feminist:
- Advocates for the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.
- Believes that there is current, significant, society-wide inequality and sexism.
- Doesn’t believe that men are the primary victims of inequality and sexism.
So, generally, you would think that being a feminist would scare away some guys. I figured that I would get guys that would hear it, then immediately scatter, like a cockroaches exposed to light. And, I thought that would be an okay thing, because if someone is totally against feminism and won’t discuss it… we are probably not compatible. I figured at least it would make my dating pool smaller. But… I was totally wrong. That hasn’t happened at all. It has brought up interesting debates and conversations. I’ve gotten to hear about strong, successful women that these guys respect. And… I’ve been applauded for my professional, entrepreneurial and intellectual endeavors.
This whole standing up for what I think thing has been very rewarding… even on the dating scene. I only wish I had done it sooner. And, I wish more people would do the same – not just about feminism but about anything they believe.
I’m surprised to hear that you have only recently declared yourself a feminist. In reading this blog I never doubted that you have what I’d call a feminist world view. It’s always been clear to me. I applaud your willingness to openly embrace yourself as a feminist, but I suspect it was a widely known secret even before that.
I completely appreciate what you mean by feeling great for standing up for what you think and believe in.
I was always worried that my opinions would offend others or cause “waves,” but I’ve been making a conscious effort to be true to myself and to accurately portray that to others.
Sometimes I felt very self-righteous, but I think you end up balancing yourself automatically.
You may be surprised how at many guys stand up for rights and progress for women in the workplace and in personal relationships. More and more men choose to be ’stay-at-home dads’ while their partners work. More men are sharing household responsibilities and child-rearing as well. As you get to know youself at the core, you’ll attract people who respect you and you won’t really focus on people who are incompatible with the real you. Live and let live is a desirable philosophy. Why waste energy when you could channel it to enrich you?