Movies – What Women Want

I was recently read in The Guardian that Sandra Bullock’s new film, Blind Side, broke a box office record – it was the first sole-female led movie that broke $200k at the box office, beating out Julia Roberts and Reese Witherspoon.

I haven’t seen Blind Side yet, and I can’t particularly say that the story immediately appeals to me. But, this does represent a turning point. Whenever I talk about sexist stereotypes in movies, people respond that the reason it is like that is because young white men are the overwhelming majority of movie viewers. With the success of Sex in the City and the Twilight series, finally the men in charge of the movie industry are seeing that there is a large, female audience out there.

Because, while there has been a female revolution going on for the past 40 years, movies have not changed that much. The majority of movies targeted towards women are romantic comedies etc., which are usually centered around getting a man.

I would love to one day see a female-led epic, or even an action movie where the lead is a woman and the side-kick is a man. But, the key is not to simply put a woman in a man’s role. The key is to look at today’s audience as they are, and create characters that appeal to them.

Showing Up Differently – Rafe Esquith

You hear about some people in their jobs – they just show up differently. One of these people Is Rafe Esquith. We recently came across the book Teach Like Your Hair’s On Fire which discusses the teaching methods of the teacher.

Here is a summary of the book courtesy of The New York Times (via Chapters/Indigo)

Perhaps the most famous fifth-grade teacher in America, Rafe Esquith has won numerous awards and even honorary citizenship in the British Empire for his outstandingly successful methods. In his Los Angeles public school classroom, he helps impoverished immigrant children understand Shakespeare, play Vivaldi, and become happy, self-confident people. This bestseller gives any teacher or parent all the techniques, exercises, and innovations that have made its author an educational icon, from personal codes of behavior to tips on tackling literature and algebra. The result is a powerful book for anyone concerned about the future of our children.

Basically, this guy works tirelessly to help these kids learn and open their eyes to what is possible in this world. From teaching them guitar, to having a classic film club, to having a problem-solving Math club to using gym’s baseball practice to help them understand Math even better, he takes creativity and originality to the next level.

He puts everything into his work, working about 12 hours a day, and at one point taking 1-2 extra jobs in order to afford the extras such as class trips. How can someone have so much mission? So much heart? Is it because he is a teacher and he sees how much these kids need help? I did have a few very good teachers when I was growing up, but certainly no one was like this. Is it simply a kind of workaholism?

No matter what, it is pretty cool what can happen when you are passionate about what you do. You simply show up differently.

A Long Way Gone – Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishmael Beah

Originally Posted on  Chapters/Indigo

This was not an easy book to read, but it was an important story to hear. As others have stated, there is some controversy over the veracity of Beah’s account from newspaper, “The Australian”. From doing a bit of research, it seems that there is no “smoking gun” saying that his accounts were a lie (everything is hearsay). You can see the Wiki here, and the author’s response to the accounts here. The story is so awful, I think a lot of us WANT to believe that it could never of happened on this earth.

So, assuming that everything was true, I found the book heart-wrenching. Being a teenager is so difficult – and to layer drugs and violence on top of it, seems unbearable. Since we are about the same age, his music references (such as Heavy D and the Boyz) made me remember what I was doing at the time, and how much simpler my life was. Family (relatively) in tact. A stable political situation. Nothing to worry about other than school and friends. This book reminds us all that these are gifts.

The book was set well – I felt like I was living in a world of chiefs, villages and wild animals. He was honest about his relationship with drugs and violence, and did not get overly moralistic about it.

One thing I wish the book had more of was some insight into the “why”. I would have liked to understand how he went from a boy soldier to a reformed one. It seemed like the switch at the UNICEF centre was completely binary, and from what I understand of the human heart, things don’t play out like that. It is also a bit of a Cinderella story at the end, and I wish he discussed if there were any aftershock effects of living the life he did for so many years – such as if the drugs had long-term effects. Or, if he was numb to violence or super-sensitive based on how he lived. Or if he missed his homeland or despised it.

Overall, I would recommend this book. I think in the Western world we like to place war in the past or somewhere far away. A book like this reminds us of all of the awful things that war brings… to people that don’t deserve to be forgotten.

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Caffeine Sensitivity

caffeineI am not sure if I have written about this before, but I am a total caffeine wimp. Although I was completely hooked on coffee and lattes for my 20s, I found out that it lead to a lot of anxiety and stress. I had it all – racing heart, hurried speech, super-fast thoughts. And, some of those feelings, I kinda liked (ha). But, the other stuff especially the ruminating and anxiety I could do without.

People that drink cups of coffee every day without effect laugh at me (in fact, about 50% of people can quit caffeine cold turkey with no problems) . They can’t believe that I can be so sensitive. That if I miss one day of black tea that I get headaches and dizzy spells. But hey – that is just how it is. Trust me, I sure didn’t choose it that way!

Now, I stick to green tea, since even black tea is too much. I sincerely think that there are several people out there who have this caffeine sensitivity, and I wanted to post a site that helped me learn more about it. It is here, at Coffee FAQ. Basically, it was a coffee site that posted an article about the symptoms of caffeine withdrawal. There are then 100s of posts by people who suffered from it, and from people that talk about having caffeine sensitivity. I read this a few years ago, and a lot clicked for me. Although some of it is extreme (as is any anonymous board) but others are quite sincere. Here is a typical post:

Kicking caffeine has been quite a journey!! This is day 50 for me. I still have some withdrawal symptoms(lightheadedness, some digestive problems, some fatigue, etc.) but overall I feel great. This site has been such a great help for me. The first month was horrible!! There were points in this process where I thought I was going crazy and at one point I thought I was dying. But reading everyone else’s experiences made me feel like I wasn’t alone. Patience is definitely needed to get through. Hang in there guys it gets better.

Anyway – I hope this helped you out, and have a great New Year!

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On the Move

I realize it has been a while since I posted. I hope you like the new look. Things have been pretty busy around here. The business has been doing well since the fall, so things are looking better since the recession ended. The big news is that we are moving. Yup – we are getting out of Toronto and moving to a small town called Port Hope – population 20,000. The new home is a beautiful century house on the lake, with a fire place and a kitchen with an island. We close mid-January.

I feel excited, but scared at the same time. I feel like things are changing. Like I am moving on to a new part of life. I’ve never enjoyed the expression “it changed my life”. Because to me, change isn’t always for the better. But in this case, I think it is. I feel like I got into a rut 7-8 years ago, and have spent the last 3 getting out of it.

Anyway reader, if you are still out there, thank you for coming out to play, and I hope to be here again soon.

Nice Article on Entrepreneurship

I am nearing the 2-year anniversary of my business, and getting ready to send my clients their anniversary gifts. I saw this interesting article about entreprenurship. Whenever people say that they are getting ready to start their own business I say that it is all about being able to stay motivated. Here is what author Ivy Chuang says about staying motivated by having passion to combat it:

I don’t wake up every morning with a great feeling–I explained in the previous post–mood swings are wide and frequent. No matter the mood, I now know the meaning of passion. It’s innate; you have to have it to continue. You don’t have to be an entrepreneur to experience passion–people are often passionate about their hobbies. However, if you experience passion through your work, you achieve a different level of envelopment; you get to do something you truly believe in and have it be a focal point for you every single day. If that zest ever loses its luster, then its time to move on, but at least you’ll know what it is.

Getting Into Art Again After Being Away for a While

I remember being in highschool, and drawing this detailed perspective finished drawing of a castle. It was so fun to pick up the drawing for art class with my ruler, and keep going where I left off a few days before. It was one of my favourite things to do. Now that I am an adult, I have the opportunity to do that stuff all the time, but I don’t. I never do it (until lately).

A few times I have picked up paints and canvasses, but it is hard to get inspired, until recently. I thought I would write this post to inspire other people who may be trying to get back into art after an absence.

1. Keep the pressure off: If you were an art-star in High School or University, you may be a bit out of practice. You may not want to start off with a large painting – it could be helpful to start off small.

2. Stay cheap: You may have more money for supplies than you used to, but buying expensive supplies can make it stressful. I just got a box of multi-coloured acrylic paints, and worked from there.

3. Explore stuff you never did: I was too snooty when I was younger to try crafts, but now, why not? It is fun. It also let’s me use my imagination in new ways.

4. Let yourself fail: Part of using cheaper supplies etc., allows you to simply throw away what you don’t like. I also have a drawer for pieces that are “marked for destruction” just in case I am being rash.

You can see below some simple art pieces I did. I hope this post inspires others to have fun with art!

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Star Trek 2009 – Yet Another Sexist Movie

I was pretty excited to see the new Star Trek come out. As a kid, I used to watch the show in syndicate after school. I enjoyed watching them discover new worlds and cultures, reflecting my own interest in different cultures and places. I liked the way that in the Star Trek world, Kirk was rewarded for not following the rules – very different from the suburban, Canadian, rule-following, governmental environment I grew up in.

At the time, I don’t remember thinking much about the female characters, other than some of the “weird” female aliens Kirk had romantic entanglements with. I also had a sense of feeling “left out” somehow of the game, but I didn’t quite reason why.

As an adult, I realize that that feeling was due to the fact that the rebel characters that I related to the most were almost always male, and when there was a female character, she would simply be someone sexy, someone to love, or someone to give birth to the guys. All of these roles are simply showing the women as revolving around the guys. And, unfortunately, so many movies still follow the exact same formula.

Take the new Star Trek movie for example, recently released by J. J. Abrams. Lt. Uhura, the leading woman, certainly has some cred. She is a linguistics specialist and is said to be one of the smartest in her class. And, she even uses her skills during a brief scene in the movie (I am trying not to give spoilers here). Unfortunatly, her prime role is to be in the middle of a love triangle. Her actual skills fade into the background, and her “someone to love” role is central to the movie. Actually, you probably see more footage of her in her underwear than her actually using her skills.

Although there are many other characters who have skills that contribute to the mission, there are no other women. The guys get to have character development, where they evolve and change, but Uhura only reflects her development by which guy she chooses. There is the character of Spock’s Mom as well played by Winona Rider, but of course she is in the role of “someone to give birth to the guys”. Again, showing the women as just being little moons revolving around the important planets of men.

The pilot of the original Star Trek is said to have had more strong female roles, but the network would only accept the show if they marginalized the females. At the same time, the show was rather groundbreaking for the time, with Lt. Uhura as an officer, and it also showed TV’s first interracial kiss (between Uhura and Kirk). The annoying part is that movies have fallen so short of evolving with the time. They are just following the same formula as the 60s, with a few minor twists but amounting to the same thing (Uhura having skills for example, but still being marginalized.)

I was also surprised at the quote in the Trivia section of IMDB:

To develop the female characters, the wives of J.J. Abrams, Damon Lindelof, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman were consulted. In fact it was Katie Abrams’s approval of the strong female characters that convinced her husband J.J. to sign on to direct.

What happened, similar to the original, did the “strong female characters” get cut?

So – I still watched the movie, and went back to my child-habit of relating to my habit of relating to the male characters instead of the female. You would just think a movie made so recently would be a bit more refreshing. J.J. Abrams is known for his “Mystery Box”. I just wish that for the sake of the young girls watching this that there was something more suprising.

Organization for the Unorganized

Typically, I find people who are organized and tidy kind of full of themselves. They often look down on people who are less-so, and if a messy roommate lives with an organized one, often it is the organized one who dominates.

I thought this until I met a friend in University who was naturally organized, but I never held it against her because she had a refreshing attitude. I told her how amazing she was, and how I wished desperately that I was the same way. She did not make a deal about it, and simply said “well, some people are that way, some people aren’t,” hinting that it was obviously a nature thing rather than nurture.

A few months ago, I read an article in the New York Times about a writer (Sara Rimer) who was trying to get organized, but she wasn’t really a naturally organized person. She wrote a great article about it. I needed this advice, since during tax time I was trying to reconciliate my old life as a single one-person sole-proprietorship to my new life as a coupled-off president of an employeed corporation. I also moved three times last year.

Sara says:

Organization is not a one-size-fits-all proposition. Just as people’s differing appetites, metabolisms and capacities for exercise mean that a given diet will work well for some, not at all for others, differences in work styles can run deep, and often call for customized approaches to the home office. And yet, the experts say, few of us take (or even believe we have) the time to figure out how we really work, or what kind of system is likely to work for us.

Agreed! I took her advice of using bins instead of files, to simply throw things in, rather than needing to file it in a forgotten drawer. I have been using the system for a few months, and just got Matt to put up some shelves to hold them. Check it out! (you can also see that I like Pocky ;) ).

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